While most Princetonians are away from their homes, a beast with a gaping claw roams the borough in search of food. Hungry after a long summer's foraging for scattered bits of yardwaste, it feeds voraciously this time of year on leaves, and would likely come right into our backyards in search of sustenance,
if not for the timely intervention of private landscapers who dutifully blow all the leaves into the street.
True, blocking sidewalks and roadways with nature's fertilizer may seem counterintuitive to the untrained eye, but THE CLAW must be fed.
THE CLAW has been observed forming symbiotic relationships with a dumptruck, which hauls the leaves off to a stronghold where even larger machines can feast upon them.
A vulturous creature often follows behind, eating whatever scraps remain.
Less likely to survive evolution's rigors is another highly mechanized caravan moving laboriously through a neighborhood nearby. Lacking a claw, this beast probes the asphalt with a proboscis, inhaling all that its attentive servants place before it. Motorists keep a respectful distance, well aware that the beasts must be allowed to feed undisturbed, lest they turn on their supposed masters.
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